# 1
47 
| 1 
| Total Votes:48 | Permalink
Let me explain to you how checking out at the grocery store works. You put your items on the belt, the cashier scans the items, and you help bag them (don't worry, somebody will help you eventually). There is absolutely no need to be on your cell phone while this is going on. Maybe if you were paying attention you would have seen this card get dropped into one of your bags. Standing there while on your phone does not help the rest of the line move any faster. In fact, it actually slows things down when you are not ready to pay, can't find your "Valued Shopper" card, or cannot figure out the credit card machine. It's a good thing you didn't use debit, I'm sure remembering a PIN is too much for your feeble brain to handle. The big "Cash Back" decision would probably merit discussion with the person on the other end of the phone call. "Should I get $40 or $60 cash back? (pause) $40 might be enough, but I need to tip at the tanning salon later. (pause) Maybe I'll get $60. (pause) What do you think?"
# 2
40 | 7 | Total Votes:47 | Permalink
You parked about 3 inches away from our car. Please leave some room for the holy spirit when parking.
# 3
36 | 2 | Total Votes:38 | Permalink
When turning left at a green light, pull into the intersection! Because you were a flaming pussy you prevented me and the five cars behind me from making the light. The fact that you didn't even make the light just goes to show that there is a gaping hole where your sack should be.
# 4
35 | 4 | Total Votes:39 | Permalink
Everybody hates working with you. Of course you're a douche.
# 5
34 | 4 | Total Votes:38 | Permalink
You steal lots and lots of music. Seriously, how much do you need?
# 6
34 | 3 | Total Votes:37 | Permalink
Hey Vanilla Ice, nobody in this parking lot wants to hear your crappy new mix tape. Do us all a favor and turn your car stereo down.
# 7
33 | 1 | Total Votes:34 | Permalink
Oh, you're so cool. You have a Blackberry. You love your Blackberry. You carry it in your pocket so you can always feel cool..... and then you pocket dial people..... Yeah, no one wants a voicemail left by the rustling of your wang. Put your god damn phone on lock. Wang calls are worse than telemarketing.
# 8
33 | 9 | Total Votes:42 | Permalink
You won't let me smell your finger after banging your date. So god damned greedy of you!!
# 9
31 | 7 | Total Votes:38 | Permalink
You owe me child support.
# 10
31 | 1 | Total Votes:32 | Permalink
Unilaterally and without any form of advanced notice, FIA Card Services increased the interest rate charged on one of my VISA cards, & when I phoned them with the complaint was told by 'Eileen' who was in Ohio, that the decision was based on an overall credit review. I asked to be connected to somebody higher in the food chain & she said that since the decision was recent, there was nobody to talk to. I checked their website, & it's totally NOT user-friendly. I mailed card #60 to their address of POB 15720, Wilmington, DE>, 19850-5720
# 11
29 | 0 | Total Votes:29 | Permalink
After you take a shower you're supposed to smell better, not the same. Maybe it would help if you washed your bath towels more than once every two months.
# 12
27 | 10 | Total Votes:37 | Permalink
You're not a people person, stop telling people that.
# 13
27 | 0 | Total Votes:27 | Permalink
At the Taco Bell thru today, you were behind me in line. This would have been OK but your stereo was so loud that I couldn't here the order taker. After getting to the drive-thru window, I told the lovely woman to place this card in your bag of food. I hope she did 'cause you are a world class d-bag.
# 14
26 | 5 | Total Votes:31 | Permalink
There is no need to park your Toyota Camry across two spots. Especially a red Camry. A red Camry with red wheels. I understand you want the car pristine for the repo man, but do us all a favor and keep it one space.
# 15
26 | 12 | Total Votes:38 | Permalink
You won't eat fried chicken because it's Lent. Also, "It's the least you can do for the big JC" is a crappy excuse.
# 16
25 | 6 | Total Votes:31 | Permalink
You think everyone is over-rated and you wear to much perfume.
# 17
25 | 11 | Total Votes:36 | Permalink
Take off the number lock numbnuts.
# 18
25 | 0 | Total Votes:25 | Permalink
Next time you decide to take a dump in the office, please be sure it all actually flushes down. Also, could you do us a solid and make sure any random poop granules that fall out of your ass get cleaned off the toilet seat? Thanks.
# 19
25 | 1 | Total Votes:26 | Permalink
Parking spaces are big enough to fit one car. One car per space, one space per car. Your Nissan Altima does NOT need four spots, so really, you don't have to park nearly horizontal because, if we do some simple math, we can see that taking up three spaces = three cars that can't fit = three people who want to slash your tires. You don't have a Hummer. You will never have a Hummer (unless you're a guy and you've got a super small you-know-what, in which case, please, assert your false manhood by taking up the entire highway). One spot to every car, douchebag.
# 20
25 | 1 | Total Votes:26 | Permalink
Do not come into my office and pull your chair up right next to me. You're not my friend and this is not your personal space. It's mine...stay the fuck out of it.